Bent Blood Part I. Waking mid-night
Breathing fast and shallow
Knees held to chest
One hand clutching back
23 seconds to gather strength to conduct
The scream:
Mommy.
Asleep, behind doubled-doors
No one hears. I cry louder:
Mommy!
 
Unable to put feet into pants legs
Or the direction of the floor;
Blanket covering the fragile shape,
Daddy prepares the car's back seat--
Suspended by the texture
Of I75/I85N and Peachtree,
My body memorizes the pain.
 
Parents offer me to stretchers,
Oxygen, Demerol I.V.
Watching, praying for some relief,
Guilt for creating
Bent blood
Along with big beautiful eyes that
Don't understand.
Admission after tests confirm:
 
Cheerful white shoes
Sedate me
Measure me
Bleed me
Feed me
Clean me;
Serious white coats send me home.
 
No sleep now
Breathing fast and shallow
Knees held to chest
One hand clutching back
23 seconds to gather strength to conduct
The scream:
Mommy.
Sleep deep across the country
No one hears. I cry louder:
Mommy!
 
Part II.
 
Blood commits suicide
While inviting the organs' music
To serenade an infarct,
It confuses its shape with
The tools of the wheat field
And the crescent moon.
Cells contain suffocation,
Pain with no parole --
Or relief of execution.
 
Deconstruction men break
Bones from inside,
Marrow's cushion supports their
Jackhammers, chainsaws,
Electric drills, picks.
Instead of red blood babies,
Only tears and morphine
Lubricate the equipment,
Leaving dreams of
Multiple amputations
 
Day 7: Crisis declared
Transfusions replace dead,
Revive injured --
Bringing aid(S)?
Greedily drinking,
Thirst slaked,
Veins carry the wave to
Destroy the crew, but
Only temporarily…
Until the next slaughter is
Commissioned.
 
Stephanie Worrell
 
My Bio:
I started having identifiable pain episodes when I was 13 years old. Even so, I'm about to celebrate 39 years of thriving! With the love, encouragement and grace of my God, my dear family and friends, I've been able to: acknowledge pain - whether physical, emotional or spiritual; confront my participation in it; determine to push through to acceptance guided by forgiveness and action; then, solidly choose victory with thanksgiving. My prayer is that each of you may know the peace a commitment to Life can bring.
 
Stephanie Worrell, Atlanta
 
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